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Daily Telegraph (UK): "Human-Pig Hybrid Embryos Given Go Ahead
What the crap is this? ALL (The All American Life League) had this in their daily newsletter and I almost spit crystal light all over my lap top's keyboard in reaction. Who the hell wants a spawned mutant pig-human? And why on earth would they do that? This world is SO messed up!
Abortion has got to be the most disgusting practice humans have: or at least right up there in the top ten.
For an added "ohmigawd" *pro-choice wtf* moment: Planned Parenthood is apparently opening up new clinics in MALLS. Imagine that? "Hey let's go to the mall and get abortions today!" "Lyyke omgz okay!!!"
Disgusting much?

I'm tired, and I'm done tiring myself out. I'm done being stereotype A. You know what I mean? Fitting into the expectations of what everyone ELSE wants you to be or thinks you are because that's who you've always been..when.. things have changed and that's not who you are anymore? I'm done with that, I'm done being the star poster child, the one who says the right thing, does the right thing, and is always perpetually agreeable, unnoticed, and mechanical. I do everything, yet am so quiet you'd never know I was there. Who IS that? I'm a loud, obnoxiously loud, person who wants to be FRIENDS with everyone! I'm not the shadowy shy girl I've always been. But the question is: how does one change their entire self image?
Maybe there's a formula for successfully changing; something like 1 part belief in yourself, 2 parts showing up other's expectations. Maybe it's a moment when you've done something that's so in character, yet out of your old character, so smoothly that nobody can believe it was really you and it forces them to reevaluate what they believed about you. Or maybe there's no way to change the self image once it's been instilled into people. Maybe they forever go on believing you're the old you, and only people who never knew the old you can see the real you. Maybe YOU change but the way people perceive you never alters.
What brought on this thought fest? Honestly I'm not sure, but I was cleaning my room and my dad called me out and started on this whole thing about me paying his bills and gas prices and clean the kitchen before I go to work and I told him "I'm in the middle of cleaning my room so if I get to the kitchen, sure I'll do it". It was something about the look on his face, like he'd been expecting me to just be like "yeah sure i'll do the kitchen" and normally I would've done it right then and done my room after. Like the outside appearances is more important than what's personally inside of me, but for the first time: me time came first. It threw his perception of me off a bit, and I guess that's what I saw in his eyes. My image being shifted about in his mind, like one of those puzzles with the pieces you move around until you get the full picture in order... the ones that you inevitably end up with one piece on the far side, like a one dimensional rubix cube hell.
And here's one last, final nugget of thought-food: is who I am becoming a better, improved version of who I was or am I changing for the worse? Would it be better fro the world if I stayed the old, quiet version of Hannah??? And if I knew the answer was "yes, it'd be better to stay the way you were", would I? Or have I already changed so much that I wouldn't care - wouldn't let the world's needs get ahead of my own? Am I selfish or just confident? What's normal? What isn't? Why isn't there a manual?

Okay, so I'm privvy to some very classified information... TJ Maxx is gonna be effin screwed come the end of the summer, so badly that it's not even freakin' funny... at all. They're gonna be losing me come August 15th, which they're aware of. However, tonight, one of the other girls put in her 2-week notice unexpectedly. That's not even the best part. They don't know it, but another one of the CSC's is also plotting an escape route (she may have a full time offer at a spa here in town), and one of their best employees is moving out of state, just five days before I do. Neither one has officially put in their notice just yet, but both notices are certainly just a matter of time. Which means ... (blow the trumpets) ... very soon, I will be THE ONLY person left for them to make a CSC during the summer, and furthermore they've got nothing but new hires from the Spring once I'm gone.
I pity the fool who tries to work at TJ Maxx after this Summer is over!
Tonight was pretty much insanity... the first girl I aforementioned had to go (totally understand her POV in the situation this weekend btw) because she needed time off, and I was left as the Customer Service girl. It was a long night of juggling coworkers about and trying to figure out who could do what tomorrow (same girl won't be coming in then, either, so I had to play with the schedule...) As it ended up, I think we're gonna be okay. It took awhile of playing with the schedule (in fact I used my whole break doing it.. It was worse than Algebra...!), but I finally found a combination of breaks that worked without strapping any of the Customer Service people down too badly. The worst time will be when I'm out there, too, so the girl who received a crash course in service desk tonight won't have to freak the hell out. Luckily, Sundays are almost always D - E - A - D until after 11:30 because of Church, and usually even past 12 is somewhat slow. I'll be in at 12, so she won't have too much to be fearful of. Thank God.
I've decided on colors for my apartment at Amy's house. I'm gonna go with a pale buttercup yellow in the "living room" and a beautiful pale blue ("Cinderella's Ball Gown") in the bedroom. I've got some amazing stuff on layaway at work to put in there that'll match. I'm so excited, it's gonna be great. I'm really looking forward to school this fall. I can hardly wait!
I discovered the joy that is Facebook last night after finding out via a poll on SNHU's student links that FB is the preferred social site of the students at school. I found a ton of people on there that're gonna be starting in the Fall too, all Class of 2012 like me. I got added by a bunch of people today. I'm so excited. I'm really looking forward to meeting them.
I've decided I'm ready for a new beginning. I'm more confident now than I have been for years and years, probably all my life, really, if I'm honest with myself. I'm ready to walk in there knowing that I am who I am, and if they don't like me for that person, then... well, they won't like me whether I'm quiet or loud. I plan to leave my mark wherever I go. I'm done being The Quiet Girl because I now have seen how obnoxious that is thanks to unnamed people in my life and I've come to terms with the fact that that person without any personality or voice was once who I was to the world. No wonder I don't have a lot of friends! How can one expect friends to instinctively flock to them? They don't come for no reason. You have to give them a reason to want to. And that's the new leaf I'm turning over. I'm done with waiting for everyone else to decide that they wanna be my friend. It's time for ME to decide that they're gonna be my friends. I'm a woman on a mission.
College is so important to me: the whole experience of it. I've been waiting wayyyyyyy too long for it to let it be anything less than everything that I've alwaJys wanted it to be.

Ugh, men just don't understand how stressful it is, seriously! My dad just looked at me like "yeah whatever" when I was like all nervous that this new shampoo won't work with my hair. I bought some SAMY salon hair products today, just the shampoo and conditioner actually in fear that it won't jive with me, and conditioner doesn't usually work well with me. However, in this one's case, the pages of Seventeen magazine talked me into attempting the hazards of greasy feeling hair by telling me a great method ("even for people with naturally oily hair!") to make my hair shiny and have more flow and body. My hair is so dead flat that ANYTHING pretty much would help it. My hair, seriously, needs like Viagra or something.
I also got some new nailpolish, literally $9 nail polish from a salon. I thought I had basecoat and topcoat here at home but -oh guess what?- I don't. So now I can't use my oh-so-pretty-but-also-oh-so-expensive nail polish until I buy some. It just rubs right off without it. *sigh* It's such a pretty shockingly pink color, too, with violet undertones and sparkle that pops off the nail when you move your hand. I wanted to wear it tomorrow... but, alas, my cheapass self ruined that plan.
Oh and where am I going tomorrow that deemed all this cosmetic attention? Cape Cod, Massachusettes, to visit my dad's cousin and my brother. But HELLO! Cape Cod! Hot guy slash celebrity hot spot... Steven Tyler lives there, man, and so does a bunch of the Red Sox players and like every celeb on the East coast north of New York basically... Not that I think I'll see any of them, but JUST IN CASE, I want to look oh so sexy. I mean, you never know. Maybe Jacoby is pulling a Cinderella style search all over Massachusettes for the One-True-Love of his life who he spotted in Grandstand 27 on the 21st of May. It could be.
In case there's posters up down there, now everyone will know where to send him to find me.

After work today, I rode a 4-Wheeler!
Click up there for PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF! It was pretty amazing. My sister Amy was up camping this weekend and even though I had to work until 6 tonight we had a great cookout and stuff tonight when I got out. When I got up there, my brother-in-law and their co-worker Tammy were all up like "Try out the 4 wheeler" so I'm like "i will if Amy will" and Amys like "Ok c'mon!" so off we go. OMG it was so whack! We were riding it up in the woods through trees and over rocks and THROUGH A FREAKING DUCK POND! Yes... THROUGH IT. It was so crazy, but we had a lot of fun. I didn't see any animals. My dad and sister Jen tried it, too, but I'm the only one that drove it for a long time.

In Memory of Maria Chapman
Aw, OMG. This is the saddest thing I've heard in a long time. I cannot believe how they must feel. Please pray for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as they go through this hard time. I pray that they find peace and strength in their faith in Jesus Christ and in the comfort of one another.

Jacoby Proposes to Hannah! OK so obviously that wasn't REALLY what he was doing, but...!! Do you know how freaking cool it was to pretend? If you're a girl I'm sure you do. Anyways, my lil sweetie (seen kneeling *swoon*) hit a HOME RUN on his FIRST AT BAT. I screamed so bad. I'm like such his good luck charm. SEE? He SHOULD marry me. He'd end up a freaking world famous hitter, like MR. DAVID ORTIZ... (another swoon bunny of mine!! Woot!!) Anyways, the game was amazing - only thing that could've made it better was if Papelbon had pitched the closer, but all's well that ends well and the game ended very well: The Red Sox won 6-3.
Speaking of winning... WHO WAS THAT BOY WHO WON AMERICAN IDOL LAST NIGHT??? Can you say COOOOOOOOK?!?! Woooot woooooooooooooooooo! Omg I started American Idol World War 3 when I found out (thanks Elisabeth!) by shouting (really loud) that Cook won. Like ten people in our section cheered, though. One girl got PO'd at me though and was like "ARCHULETA LOST?!" all mad. Oh well. And this one really loud obnoxious drunk asshole behind us (who looked like Ben Affleck if Ben Affleck lost a fight..a BAD fight...to Mohommad Ali) was like "SHUT UP!!!!!!" LOL Oh well. I was happy.
So here's some pictures from the game... well, a whole LOT of pictures from the game. If you're interested, I'm going to list one of the photos of Fenway Park for sale on eBay as an 8x10 print w/ a frame for $15 + $5 shipping and handling (which is almost what it costs to make it) - also in the interest of making the money for my computer for college! I'll post a listing link when I get it loaded on there. Until then... Enjoy! (And yes, I know there's a LOT of Ellsbury here! What can I say...?)

BIG PAPI
Picture 1 - Picture 2 - Picture 3
Picture 4 - Picture 5 - Picture 6
Picture 7

DUSTIN PEDROIA
Picture 1 - Picture 2 - Picture 3
Picture 4 - Picture 5

FENWAY PARK (Before)
Picture 1

FENWAY PARK (During)
Picture 1 - Picture 2 - Picture 3
We Won! 1 - We Won! 2 - We Won! 3

FENWAY PARK (After)
Picture 1 - Picture 2 - Picture 3

JACOBY ELLSBURY
Picture 1 - Picture 2 - Picture 3
Picture 4 - Picture 5 - Picture 6
Picture 7 - Picture 8 - Picture 9
Picture 10 - Picture 11 - Picture 12
Picture 13 - Picture 14 - Picture 15
Picture 16

MANNY RAMIREZ
Picture 1 - Picture 2 - Picture 3
Picture 4 - Picture 5 - Picture 6
Picture 7

YOOOOUK!
Picture 1 - Picture 2 - Picture 3

VARIOUS "RANDOM" PICTURES
Big Papi & Dustin Pedroia
Jason Varitek
Wally the Green Monster

AS PROMISED: HERE'S THE LINK TO THE eBAY LISTING: Click Here to View The Listing!!

I swear to God that I have the worst luck ever in the world. Seriously. You'd think I'd learn not to get excited about stuff that's coming up, I only ever jinx it for myself! Everytime I'm psyched about some event -- concerts, games, etc -- I always, always get sick or get my *little girl friend* the day before, and this is no exception. Here I am, wheezing, with the migraine from hell, all stuffed up thanks to the damn dandilion fluff that's floating around... All I can say is I better wake up tomorrow fresh as a flower or I'm gonna freak out.
We're leaving before 8am tomorrow, getting an employee card from my dad's work, and heading down. I've gotta stop at the college in Hooksett, then we're on down to Boston. We got a hotel ten minute walk from Fenway park, which should be a lot easier than trying to drive TO Fenway. That'd be crazy... We're going to walk after parking at the hotel. Then we can catch some sleep before coming home on Thursday.
David Cook burnt up the AI stage tonight, but IMO they both did really good tonight. I especially liked Archuleta's first song - Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me - I think he did amazing with it. Which says a lot since I don't like him or, particularly, the song. I think David Cook should've sang a different last song, something more along the lines of what he did with the "Always Be My Baby" performance, but I do like that he picked one he hadn't done before, which Archuleta didn't do. I think Cook should've sung something like maybe Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol or something along that line. Either way, we voted for Cook 3 times.
And for one last little news bite... the seating chart for the BSB concert was finally announced and I'm in the 6th row! Section C, Row 6, Seats 1-2, which means AISLE seats! Which means a (probably) perfect view of the stage! Squeal much? Woot. Oh my no squealing, no. Migraine = bad.

Lester Tosses No-Hitter Against Royals
I can't believe I was AT WORK and I missed this game! Of all BoSox games to miss - boo hiss boo hiss! Oh well.. LOL what's funny is I almost bought Daddy's bday tickets for tonight. Too bad I didn't! We would've got to see the historical moment!
I hope he writes a book, his story would be so inspirational to all the guys and boys that're facing cancer -- to anyone facing cancer, or anyone at all for that matter. He seems like such a nice guy, too. Ugh, there's too many cute/nice guys on the BoSox. I have like 14 favorites now... What on earth is a girl to do?
Jacoby's still my main squeeze, though. I'm gonna be waiting for the moment when he leaps over the field box walls, runs up the left field box seat stairs, all the way into the Fenway grandstand 27, row 10, scoop me up, swoon, and run around the field as the confetti starts flying and the loudspeaker fills with the sound of wedding bells and the jumbotron shows a big close up of my face with the words FUTURE MRS JACOBY ELLSBURY underneath....
My imagination is way too active.

I'm trying to save money to buy a Mac notebook for college this Fall, and to do so I'm selling some of my older stuff on eBay. There's some great deals I'm making on there, anyone who's reading and interested, please check them out! Here's the links: One Tree Hill Season 1 DVD
American Dreams Season 1 DVD
"High School Musical Fan Pack"
"Hannah Montana Fan Pack"

I've also got a pretty large collection of CDs that I'm getting ready to think about listing on eBay for $5 apiece. If you're interested in buying them before I list them, email me and we'll work out a deal. Here's the CDs I'm interested in selling:
HAIRSPRAY collector's Soundtrack-- Clay Aiken: Measure of a Man -- American Idol: Season 3 -- B52's: Time Capsule -- Sara Bareilles: Little Voice -- Natasha Bedingfeld: Pocket Full of Sunshine -- Bright Eyes: Cassadaga-- Bright Eyes: Untitled 1 -- Bright Eyes: Untitled 2 -- Boys II Men: II -- Colbie Calliat: Coco -- Vanessa Carlton: Be Not Nobody -- Kelly Clarkson: Breakaway -- The Click Five: Modern Minds & Pasttimes -- The Doors: The Future Starts Here -- Fleetwood Mac: Greatest Hits -- Good Charlotte: The Young & The Hopeless -- Good Charlotte: The Chronicles of Life & Death -- The GREASE soundtrack -- Heart: The Essential -- INXS: Kick -- Jonas Brothers: Self-Titled Album (Special Edition) -- Lillix: Falling Uphill -- Mandy Moore: Wild Hope -- Mandy Moore: So Real -- Mandy Moore: I Wanna Be With You -- Plain White T'S: Every Second Counts Special Edition -- LeAnn Rimes: This Woman -- LeAnn Rimes: Greatest Hits -- SHEDaisy: Fortuneteller's Melody -- Bruce Springsteen: Born in the USA -- Scott Stapp: The Great Divide -- Switchfoot: Nothing is Sound -- Switchfoot: New Way to Be Human -- Switchfoot: Learning to Breathe -- 12 Stones: Self Titled Debut -- 12 Stones: Potter's Field -- Underoath: They're Only Chasing Safety -- Underoath: Define the Great Line -- Underoath: The Changing of Times -- Cyndi Lauper: The Essential -- Janis Joplin: The Essential
I'm looking for $5 each ($2 shipping so a total of $7 each) or 3 for $10 (plus $3 shipping, so $13 for 3). I don't know if I'll get it, but... here's for a try.
I found out that I need the new computer while I was surfing the SNHU site the other day. Apple offers a special discount for SNHU students on their website, which is awesome. I've been wanting an Apple for awhile anyways. If I can save the money for the computer, I'm going to use it only for college stuff and nothing else (I'll still edit my site and chat online on this computer and my cell phone like I've been doing so that the computer for school can be JUST for school). I have to get a wireless card for the Apple, too. I don't know how much those are, but I know the computer, the required programs, a modem converter, and a case to protect the PC when I'm intransit from work-home-school is going to come to a little under $1,500. CRAZY!
The good news is I got a TON of grants, scholarships and loans awarded to me by SNHU. MOST of the tuition is covered by the money I'll be receiving through them -- almost ALL of it, actually, and what isn't will more than likely be covered by the VA grant. It's incredible. I'm so excited about school!
More on the good news front: a woman my dad used to work with when we lived in Concord forever ago, Liz, who works with the hotel company my dad's involved in, got us a cabin for 2 nights when we go down to the Backstreet Boys concert in August. We're going to have a great vacation that weekend. Which will be good: I'll probably be moving out later that week to go down to Amy's in Concord for the school year. She may possibly be getting us a night at a hotel within walking distance of Fenway Park for the game on Wednesday night, too -- AMAZING MUCH???
I've decided I'll put in my 2-week for TJ Maxx ending on the 15th - the day before the Backstreet concert - so that I can break clean on a pay date and not have a teeny-tiny check coming. I'd have to leave by the 20th anyway, and if I don't end on the 15th, I'd only be available on the 19th and 20th. Which means I'd only have 2 extra days pay ANYWAYS. It makes sense to have a clean break, I think.
I also was thinking about it and rather than transferring TJ Maxx to TJ Maxx I might apply for an evening/night position at the hotel my dad used to work at down in Concord when I move down there. I figured that might be better paying than TJ Maxx would be, and would be a more stable place to work. Plus, I'm almost guarunteed the position and hours I want since my dad knows people so far up in the company. They also have health insurance benefits, which is excellent, and stock options for employees. I know where they're located and the layout of the hotel already, and there's no chances of crappy managers like there is at TJ Maxx. Plus I've been reluctant to accept a transfer position at the Concord TJ Maxx anyway just because of the fact that I don't like policies at TJ Maxx and the pay sucks -- A LOT. I'll need better money than TJX can give me once I'm living on my own like I will be in Concord. I'll be paying for my stuff, most of my own food, still 1/2 my cell phone, my credit cards, and for school costs, like books, as well as gas, toll funds, and "whatever" college might throw at me. Plus I'll probably want to have my own phone line installed in the in-law apartment at Amy's for internet purposes.
Anyways, all that to explain why I'm listing things on eBay! Please bid on the stuff if you're interested.

So once again I worked a Sunday at TJ Maxx. Sundays at TJ Maxx - for employees, anyways - is total, complete, unexplainable hell. To top it off it was a Canadian holiday. OK, not to sound politically incorrect or anything but French Canadians are our worst customers. They make a total mess of the store and we can't even communicate correctly with them to provide a good service environment, therefore they tend to get agitated easily. More easily than normal customers, which makes us get more stressed, and in the long run makes their experience worse. Anyways, so we were overrun by two tour buses full of them at any rate, and we were all going ballistically insane trying to keep up with it all. Then a hummingbird got caught in the breezeway of the store and Marc had to try to get it out with a bag on our sign hanger... Yes, the hummingbird is fine.
Anyways, long story short, I'm freaking tired. I've got more important things right now than writing on a blog, but I wanted to share with anyone who reads this my treasure I got today at work...
My Kitty Piggy-Bank

So today when I told my dad about the deposit for the college tuition, he gave me the money I needed - out of the blue - and refused to listen when I told him I could pay him back. He said he wanted to pay for it, and that it was how Mom would've wanted it to go. For someone who just five months ago I could scarcely understand their personality and motives and who drove me so crazy so often, he's truly become an amazing person in the last few months since my Mom died. He's completely changed. I think he learned not to take anyone for granted, and that feelings need to be displayed and shared, and that once someone is gone, there's no going back. I think it changed him. And maybe that was, ultimately, my Mom's lesson for him. Or at least a part of it. Whatever it is, I'm thankful for him, more so than I've ever been, and I'm glad that he's coming around. I am closer to him now than I have ever been in my entire life. Which is going to make the move to the college in the Fall that much more difficult.
So here are some pictures anyways of the party stuff yesterday...
- My Dad's Birthday Cake
- The dining room after I set up for the party...
- Random pic of me I worked tonight, which was neat considering how dog-tired I am. I couldn't sleep last night, I ended up staying up until almost 5AM here watching McDreamy and talking to Elisabeth and Heidi. It was pretty cool getting to talk to Heidi, we don't talk very often and I hadn't heard from her in awhile. Elisabeth and I of course talk every night (loffs yew Romy). She always knows how to make me smile. She's the bestest friend ever... Anyways, I was service desk tonight, it was interesting. Nothing really crazy happened today (no Maxx Moments!) which was good. I don't think I could've handled a full blown Maxx Moment tonight without losing my frickin' mind.
Anyhow, I've got to get TJ fed and put outside before he makes my leg bleed from scratching it. He eats so much, he's sooo overweight. Er... guess that makes him like his momma, huh??

After a lot of planning for the past few months, I finally got to throw the party I wanted to throw for my Dad today. It was a lot of fun. I went nuts hanging streamers up all over the dining room, and putting up the balloons - which I taped all over the walls. It went so perfectly, I couldn't have asked for a better day. Even the fact that it was raining didn't take out the excitement: quite the opposite, it made it better because the decorating turned out to look a lot better when I was done inside, and it wouldn't have looked as good outside.
He seemed really excited about the tickets, which made me excited, of course. I can't wait to go to the game. I think I'm just as excited about his birthday present as he was, which is probably crazy. But all is well that ends well... If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be obsessed with the Red Sox by this time of this year I'd have thought you were a freaking nutcase and probably laughed my butt off at you. As it is, though, I'm officially obsessed and I find some of the older obsessions slowly, but surely, fading away more and more as time goes by...
I officially got my letter of acceptance today from SNHU. I need to get up $300 by the 26th for my tuition deposit. I've also got to call them and change my chosen major from graphic design to psychology. Knowing I'm going to change it has freed me up in the sense that I feel more comfortable doing graphic design (see site working again?) knowing it's only a hobby, not a future career. Weird how thoughts like that can seize a person's passion for something on the artistic levels, huh?
So I guess that's about it for right now anyways, I've got to upload all this stuff, and get it all into the Internet for all those people who may or may not look at it... I hope you'll keep popping back in, and I'll keep adding stuff regardless. If you've got a comment, hit my email. I'm always around at one point or another...